Showing posts with label Us Meets World. Show all posts

Be happy with less

by talkbackty on Dec 3, 2011

This is part of our Us Meets World posts. Check them all out here, write about the topic on your own blog, let me know and we'll link to your page.

Tell the truth. You are selfish. You want someone else to take care of everything. You want money to come flowing in, cookies to be plentiful and all your cares in the world to disappear. It's okay. Guess what? We are all selfish.

Very few people actually want to work. There's millions, if not hundreds of millions, of dads out there who want nothing more than to hang out with their kids all day. The difference is they aren't socially allowed to do that. They have to work, bring home the bacon, be the caregiver and make the mullah.

You greedy women want to have your cake and eat it to. (Drop Marie Antoinette reference to appear smart). I can hear the stampede starting now. "Women have been oppressed for centuries, forced to stay at home and do all the cleaning and cooking and basically being a slave for the man of the house. If you go back far enough, women were the same as slaves-treated like property to be exchanged from father to husband. The last century has been the only time in history that women have finally had the freedom to do all the things that men can do. How dare you!"

How dare me?

Here's the truth. Men want almost exactly what women want. To be treated fairly, to have a stable home life and to be happy. Sometimes that happiness comes from rock climbing or golfing or photography. Some men are painters or writers, some are athletes or firefighters. Some men love to be around other people, some love to be left alone.

There's not as many physiological differences between the sexes as we make out to be. We all get hungry, horny and tired. Beyond that, it's all social pressure.

One of my first posts was titled The Art of Being a Man...and why nobody cares. The simple summary, the universe doesn't care if you act manly. It doesn't care if you act feminine. As far as I can tell the universe doesn't care a whole lot either way. The same way you know a river does not care about a drowning person, the universe doesn't care if you're acting manly or not.

I tell you that to tell you this. There's nothing that we should be doing. Men/women/humans want to be treated fairly, to have a stable home life and to be happy. How do you get happiness? That's a personal question, not a universal one. If you love flying airplanes then you need to make a lot of money because, as I understand it, airplanes ain't cheap.

My suggestion? (I'm so glad you asked). Be happy with less. Less things, less friends, less children, less video games, less beers, less, less, less. Whatever that thing is that you think you need to be happy, you don't need it. You don't want a thing, you just want more. You're selfish. It's okay. It is biological. We don't want to die during winter and so we hoard nuts during fall (fact check last statement, that might be squirrels).

You can be happy with less. You can be happy that you're husband doesn't work 18 hour days, instead of being happy he just bought a new car. You can be happy that you got one notification on Facebook, instead of being sad you didn't get a friend request from that cute guy in history class. Happiness is a choice. What you are happy about is completely up to you. There is no universal requirement or quota for happiness. You have the option to always choose happiness.

And you can be happy with less.

My Biggest Fear

by talkbackty on Nov 17, 2011

This is part of our Us Meets World blog. Feel free to answer this question on your own blog. "What is your biggest fear?" Send me a link and I'll post your blog along with all the others.

Fear is an interesting thing. On the one hand, we all deal with it. There is no one who is truly fearless. Even sociopaths who feel no emotions, as we understand them, still wake up in the morning, eat food, go to the bathroom and all other basic human survival elements. In the most primal way, they do not want to die.

Which is a common fear for many, Thanatophobia, the fear of death. It's not particularly high on my list though. We all get old, our bodies break down and we die. If you have the misfortune to skip the getting old and body breaking down steps, that's all it is...misfortune.

What am I afraid of?

Let me first explain that I am something of a smile/laughter seeker. I want to cause people to laugh, to be happy, to enjoy a tiny portion of life. I try not to be the obnoxious, class-clown type (although I went through that phase). I want your day to be a little bit better after having been around me.

Over time though I've come to realize that my charms are not universal. Not everyone likes me. More importantly, I don't like everyone. There are a lot of closed minded, ignorant people who can really screw with my day. Having learned these things, I no longer try to be constantly funny or entertaining. If you annoy me, I am pretty quick to disengage and get you out of my life as quickly as possible.

For people that I like, people I enjoy being around or talking to...for them I will go to the ends of the earth trying to please them. It's not a fact I broadcast much. I've been burned a few times by soul-draining humans who will take advantage of poor saps like me. However, for those on the inside of my "circle of trust" there is very little I will not do. Car broke down 150 miles away? No problem. Need $500 to pay rent. Here's a check. Killed someone and need help hiding the body? I'll get the shovel Rolando friend.

My biggest fear then is hurting one of those people. One of those people who I would have done anything for. When I create a situation that I can not fix and have done irrerable harm. Yes, it has happened before. And I don't want it to happen again. Hence, biggest fear. When you have that mindset regarding a certain person it's incredibly heartbreaking when they no longer want anything to do with you. It's even worse if I never told them how highly I valued them.

At the end of the day my greatest fear is one that is incredibly simple and incredibly self-generated. Notice there is not a whole lot of outside influence involved in my fear. No one is dumping a tank of snakes on me; although I imagine that to be uncomfortable and, depending on the size of the tank, possibly deadly. My fear is internal. Both self-created and self-inflicting. Absolutely terrifying because the only person in control is the one person hardest to control, myself.